Transforming Relations Part 13
A Journey from Autumn to Spring – The Secrets of Blissful Living
2nd Installment of 7th Chapter – Parenting – Last & Final Part of this Book
Parenting:
Should We Teach Our Religion To Our Children?
Some people, purely for psychological reasons, would not like to acquaint their children with any religion. They think that the child must grow up and then form his own ideas and select his own religion. They would give no religious instruction or moral training. This is not the right attitude, because the children in their formative years remain deprived of the vital direction they need in the early years of their life. Thus; their growth will be arbitrary and undisciplined like wild plants. As children, they must ask questions and if they are not satisfied or receive vague replies, they feel that something is lacking & wanting in their life. They thus grow up in a spiritual limbo. The idea that when they grow up, they will select a suitable moral code or spiritual guide does not work. Neither; will they have the time, desire or opportunity to do so.
Undoubtedly, children have a right to the best their parents possess in all phases of life, including religion. If the parents are Sikhs, they must make the effort to bring the true values of Sikhism and the noble ideals of the Gurus to the notice of their children. To deprive children of religious instruction is to deny them the assistance that the teachings of the Gurus can give them.
ਗਉੜੀ ਗੁਆਰੇਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ 5 ॥
ਹਮ ਧਨਵੰਤ ਭਾਗਠ ਸਚ ਨਾਇ ॥ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਵਹ ਸਹਜਿ ਸੁਭਾਇ ॥1॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
ਪੀਊ ਦਾਦੇ ਕਾ ਖੋਲਿ ਡਿਠਾ ਖਜਾਨਾ ॥ ਤਾ ਮੇਰੈ ਮਨਿ ਭਇਆ ਨਿਧਾਨਾ ॥1॥
(ਸ੍ਰ. ਗੁ. ਗ੍ਰੰ. ਸਾ. – ਪੰਨਾ 185-186)
Gau-rhee Guaa-ray-ree Mehlaa 5 ||
Ham Dhanvant Bhaagath Sach Naa-ay ||
Har Gun Gaava-ah Sahj Subhaa-ay || 1 || Rahaa-u ||
Pee-au Daa-day Kaa Khol Dithaa Khajaanaa ||
Taa May-rae Man Bha-i-aa Nidhaanaa || 1 ||
(SGGS – Gauree Guareree Mehla 5 – Page 185-186)
This will also mean that the vacuum in the child’s mind will remain unfulfilled and he will continue to live in a state of uncertainty and moral ignorance. It is better to provide him with some moral values & ideas rather than none.
Let Us Make a More Positive Approach to the Problem: It is not enough to encourage the social instincts of children. This may help in a limited way to make them realize that social instincts should have preference over selfish ones but the temptations in life are so sudden, overwhelming and strong that mere sense of social responsibility will not lead to any consequences. A strong moral foundation is necessary to withstand the onslaught of evil ideas or bad company.
It is meaningful and rewarding to tell children of the benefits of the moral support of the Gurus and the assistance they will receive if they follow the Sikh ethical code.
Should Religion Put Restrictions On Us ?
Some Thoughts from Late Dr. Gurbakhsh Singh Canada: At the Vancouver Island Camp, students asked some unusual questions. One youth asked, “Uncle, anyway, why do we have to have a religion? Why should it put restrictions on the freedom of an individual? One should be able to live the way one likes. Of course, one should not cheat or commit any other crime. “After listening to the question, I said, “This is a wonderful question. Today, let us utilize this period only to answer your open questions on any topic. Any more questions please. “The second student came out with another question, “Why should one continue to say ‘God’, ‘God’ (Waheguru, Waheguru), every day? OK, God does many favors for us. However, why should He demand daily recitation of His Name, contemplation & remembrance from us? Uncle, is God not Himself egocentric? I do not like your God.
“When asked how many of them would like to go swimming that afternoon (it was summertime) every one raised his hand. I asked, “Will the pool benefit from you when you swim in it? Do you oblige the pool when you enjoy it?” The answer was “No”.
I put another question to them, “During winter when you enjoy the sun at the beach, is the sun benefited by your sitting there?” Of course, the answer was the same.
Having thus prepared their mind, I asked, “If not, then why should you think you are obliging God when you bask in the ‘sun’ of the virtues of God or ‘swim’ in the comforts provided by Him?”
When we focus our thoughts on God, we contemplate on HIS virtues and try to imbibe them for lighting the path of our life. It is not GOD, who benefits, when we remember HIM, it is we, who benefit by focusing on HIS virtues to obtain peace and happiness. No doubt, reciting & repeating on HIS NAME like a parrot, without keeping the mind tuned to HIS virtues, is of little benefit. Now, I think you understand God is not an egocentric person. It is we; who on many occasions become ungrateful and fail to thank HIM for HIS favors. Again, it is we, who lose the benefit, which flows from HIS virtues if we do not contemplate & focus our thoughts on HIM & HIS VIRTUES.
Did anyone of you notice that I was late for the morning assembly in the Gurdwara? I asked, “Anyway, when the classes are over today I need two volunteers to go with me with a small gun.”
The students were surprised to hear that and looked at me askance. I continued, “I want you to break all the traffic red lights on my way, they unnecessarily delayed me in the morning. Today morning when I was coming to this place, at every crossing (intersection) the driver stopped the car. When I told him to move on as no car was coming from any other side, he responded that the police will give him a ticket (fine him).”When I pointed out that there was no police officer to be seen anywhere, he replied, “We may meet an accident and may lose our life.” I asked the driver, “How can there be an accident when there is no vehicle coming from any side?”
He said, “That is the law. We have to stop at the red light, vehicle or no vehicle from other sides.” I questioned the youth, “Is it not the wrong law? Why should one stop when there is no vehicle coming from any direction? A red light unnecessarily delays our journey.”
The students jointly responded, “Without red and green lights to direct the traffic, there will be chaos and many accidents will occur.
Even when the law is there, some people ignore the traffic rules and cause accidents. We should not remove red lights.”
‘Red and Green Light’ Of Our faith
“You mean to say that even when you are bothered and delayed, you should not disregard red lights.” The youth in one voice replied, “Yes, one should always follow the signals.”
I continued, “Now, it should be easy for you to understand the answer to your second question, why a religion has ‘red’ lights. They tell you not to defy certain directions to save yourself from meeting accidents of life. They have been ‘fixed’ not to obstruct your way of life, but to keep your path clear and safe. Some roads’ have permanent ‘red lights’, i.e. no entry.
A Sikh can neither SMOKE nor DRINK; nor is he/she is permitted to indulge in premarital / extramarital sexual relationships etc. You must study the Panth Pravanit Sikh Reht Maryada for this. One must move on at the ‘green light’ to reach his destination. Otherwise, not only he himself will miss the goal but will also delay the traffic (mislead other people) following him. I believe, now, you will also understand why Sikhs must focus their thoughts on GOD, contemplate & are in remembrance of Him for all time and recite Gurbani regularly, as directed by the Guru; this is the ‘green light’ of our faith.”
(ਇਹ ਇਸ ਪੁਸਤਕ ਦੀ ਆਖ਼ਰੀ ਕਿਸ਼ਤ ਹੈ —We shall start new series from next issue)
